Ramblings of Room G5

Long time no see

2010-01-29T13:59:00.004Z

My god where did we go?!
Things have been busy, but not in the usual sense of the word. We've been heavily involved in a restructuring-consolidation-down sizing exercise that has hopefully reached a conclusion, but this may be a temporary stable period in the current business climate that passes for a job these days.

Throughout this process we've lost a few people and moved on, literally! We are now in a different room at the top of the building. Maybe we should change the name to the Ramblings of a room formally known as G5.

One concelation is that at least the view from the window is much better.

Oh and by the way, we've lost the prize John Bracken pen!

This just in...

2009-09-22T15:20:00.003+01:00

An official John Bracken campaign pen is currently on its way to us. We will post pictures of this collector's item as soon as it arrives. :)

Countdown to end of recession

2009-08-27T11:55:00.006+01:00

With Germany and France already out, it looks like Ireland won't be too far behind. Don't worry say banking advisors there's only 1825 days left until the end of the recession in Ireland.

A few members of Room G5 have been made redundant in the past months, but luckily two of them have got positions elsewhere and managed to avoid the job club for now..

Some classic 'Rockney'

2009-07-21T14:31:00.003+01:00

Yesterday we came across this lot on Youtube and have been listening to it in the office ever since.
If you remember these lads then your as old as we are and if you confess to actually enjoying it, well then there's no hope for you either!

The rub of a relic

2009-07-09T16:42:00.014+01:00

It seems Ireland is awash with relics at the moment. Just yesterday morning we heard the news of thousands flocking to visit a cut tree stump in the Parish Church at Rathkeale, Co. Limerick, that apparently resembles a statue of Our Lady.

Then yesterday lunchtime the our local Chip shop on Pearse street became the scene of the latest relic sighting. The image of the blessed virgin appeared encrusted in the bread crumbs of a spice burger!

It is rumoured that this was one of the last spice burgers in the shop as the manufacture Walsh Family Foods had gone out of business a few weeks before. At the news of this miracle people queued down the street to get a look at the burger before it was savagely consumed by a builder who had bought it with a single of chips for his lunch break.

The publicity also sparked the interest of catering wholesalers and retailers, who have placed sufficient orders with the company to justify a return to production of the burgers.

King of pop

2009-07-07T09:43:00.003+01:00

When your locked away in the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, in the Philippines, what better way to spend your day then dancing to the King of pop.

Here's the man himself showing how he'd do time.

Punks Not Dad

2009-06-25T17:46:00.004+01:00

We were alerted to this quality piece of music by a post on twitter possibly from thebeernut (can't find it now)

Anyway hope you like it...enjoy!

New mission for 00B

2009-06-18T17:33:00.007+01:00

The recession is hitting our company too and members of room G5 are coming under the knife.

00B our resident flash games guru is leaving the confines of the real-world G5 to become our front line recession correspondent giving you all the news on this crisis direct from the welfare office.

No doubt this will give 00B the opportunity to play more games, rest, drink and perfect his plan to take over the world.

Good luck 00B!

Blog roll and a courtesy flush

2009-06-12T10:20:00.010+01:00

Most people understand a blog roll to be a list of links to other blogs, but have you ever thought of the term 'blog roll' in a different light?

Many people enjoy having a bit of a read while sitting on the throne so wouldn't it be a nice idea if you could buy toilet roll with blogs on.

We envisage this working a bit like reading random blogs on blogspot, but rather then clicking 'next blog' you simply roll out the next sheet instead. The first page of each blog would be printed one after another in a random order on the paper and if the blog on the current sheet doesn't grab your interest you simply wipe and move on to the next one.

Of course this product is not without its problems. Careful attention would have to be paid with regard to the type of printing process used as one wouldn't want black smudges left on ones backside. One would also loose some of the functionality found on a normal blog page in that none of the links or dynamic content would work at all. But these issues are small and could be overcome or forgiven.

This is a great idea for a business and we are looking for any investors or dragons out there to work with us and bring this product to market.

Is this the best money can buy?

2009-06-10T11:43:00.007+01:00

A couple of these little cakes arrived in the office today and we have been informed by a colleague that they are called 'millionaire slices'.

We were a bit bemused at this name as they look rather boring and taste very sweet indeed. This is certainly not a tea time treat fit for a millionaire. A millionaire’s treat needs to be bigger, tastier, more chocolaty and frankly more impressive then this little mars bar style biscuit!

Brutal result for Braken!

2009-06-09T09:53:00.006+01:00

Well its all over now. Our dreams of a Brakenist state were dashed at the weekend as Johnny Bracken failed to gain a seat in the Local Elections finishing with a total of 333 votes, only 2.8% of the total vote. Unlike our on-site poll which shows Bracken miles out in front, the real Bracken machine has lost its sat-nav and is now poorly parked at the side of the campaign trail.

Despite the tireless efforts of our in-house team and the hard work of our London correspondent it seems that our message failed to reach the voters in Offaly. One can only assume that this is not our fault and that it is more likely due to a lack of broadband penetration in the the Offaly area.

Is this the end of Bracken? We hope not!

D-Day for Bracken

2009-06-05T09:53:00.012+01:00

It's the final day of the local election campaign for our beloved John Bracken and support has never been stronger. Through our network of country wide correspondents we have heard that people from all over the country are converging on Tullamore to lend their support.

The competition is strong as you can see from the list of candidates below, but we are confident that our man will come out on top.

Bracken, John - Independent (in pole position)
Buckley, Molly - Fine Gael
Butterfield, Johnny - Independent
Callanan, Colm - The Christian Solidarity Party
Cowen, Barry - Fianna Fáil
Dolan, Dervill - Independent
Dooley, Sinead - Fianna Fáil
Dormer, Lorraine - Labour Party
Feery, Frank - Fine Gael
Killeavy, Brendan - Sinn Féin
McKeigue, Tommy - Fine Gael
Moran, Frank - Independent
O'Brien, Sean - Labour Party
O'Brien, Vincent - Fine Gael
Owens, Danny - Fianna Fáil

In the face of battle Bracken is undeterred and has been getting in shape all week in an effort to be at his fittest for the final push for the top today.

Brackens strongest competition as a fellow independent is Johnny Butterfield. Despite not knowing much about this character we suspect he has little chance of regaining his seat this time out, especially with a hair cut like that.

We are urging all our Offaly readers to get the word out and use their influence on friends and family to vote Bracken in today.

More analysis on Monday after our landslide victory!

Pavlov's dogs

2009-06-04T15:24:00.006+01:00

"Pavlov's Dogs. The most famous example of conditioning involves the development of conditional salivary responses in Pavlov's dogs. If a tone was reliably sounded before the dogs were fed, the dogs would eventually start salivating when they heard the tone, even if no food was present. The dog's responses (salivation) to the tone are said to be conditional upon the dogs' experience with the pairings of the tone and food. Dogs that have not experienced this condition do not salivate when they hear tones. Pavlov's dogs are therefore said to have been conditioned. Their reactions to the tone have been changed through experience."

source: http://fixedreference.org/en/20040424/wikipedia/Conditioning#Pavlov's%20Dogs

So, according to that theory, I get the urge to make tea every time you (gravy) play that bloody Bracken-song!

The lesser spotted Bracken

2009-06-03T12:29:00.004+01:00

Following on from last weeks post about John Bracken we've had some breaking news from one of our correspondents in London who has sent us this photo of a man in an Italian restaurant in Kings Cross.
When questioned he claimed that John Bracken has eaten there, but we reckon it's just a cover along with the Italian accent and that this may be how Bracken is funding his campaign and reaching the Italian food loving public!
If you have any pictures of Bracken or followers of 'The Cult of Bracken' please send them in.

Idea for a Russian reality TV show

2009-05-29T15:14:00.015+01:00

Russia's Got Talent

Contrary to popular belief, Russia is blessed with a wealth of underestimated and relatively unknown talent. For years the former Soviet Republic has been nurturing its feral children for its own entertainment. And it is entertainment. Children raised by squirrels and taught to bark by seals. Susan Boyle has got nothing on the boy who chirps like a bird or the girl who swings through the trees like a chipmunk. That is quality. That is entertainment. Isn't it time for Russia to share its hidden talents? Now is the time for 'Russia's got Talent' to go global.

Room G5 is preparing a 'Russia's got Talent' pilot show including treasures such as

Bird Boy, Rat Boy, and Goat Face

Any further interested parties (or freakshows) please apply in writing to Room G5.

Puffins?

2009-05-29T14:37:00.002+01:00

Puffin's? what about them? well according to birdboy of room G5, the Puffins have cunningly avoided extinction only because they are aware of their market. They know that they have to be visible on an island colony whenever there is an American tourist or a nature camera man is around looking for pictures.
It is only by playing to the camera's and putting on a show that they have been able to maintain their cute persona in the public mentality, while in reality they are no better then the lowly seagull.

What's even more surprising is that the Puffins feel their position is under threat from other popular birds, most notably the Guinness Toucan.

Bigger, Better and Uncut

2009-05-29T11:11:00.002+01:00

Time for some more video content to start off the day and to continue with the Offaly related content, what better then something for our Brian. Thanks to 98Fm for this longer version of the song.

The IT Crowd rocks

2009-05-28T15:47:00.004+01:00

Here are some proper videos from the IT crowd

Enjoy

Man of the People

2009-05-28T14:20:00.017+01:00

( or is it 'The Man of the Hair of the People'?)

Of late I've been accused of being obsessed with John Bracken. So in an attempt to get it out of my system I'm blogging about it today.

For those of you who don’t know. John Bracken is a candidate in the Irish local elections and he running in the Laois / Offaly area. Bracken ran in the local elections in 2004 and in the last General Election as an Independent. He came to national attention because of his song and his inspiring posters.

There seems to be somewhat of a cult following for Bracken, mainly because of his great hair style and the look he has of a man straight out of the bog. Maybe this explains why we have a print out of his poster stuck on a wall in our office.

This man wouldn't look out of place in a Harry Enfield Scouser sketch, but you have to respect the man as he is the epitome of small town, grass roots politics.
"Go on yee boy ye!"

" ey, ey, ey! They did do that though didn't they though"

oh yeah

2009-05-28T13:16:00.001+01:00

a history of weed

2009-05-28T13:14:00.000+01:00

Is this insane or what ?

2009-05-28T12:20:00.000+01:00

yep it is...